Hope
Written by: Meg Jelen, MA, LMFT
Many of us categorize hope as an emotion. The American Psychological Association (APA) explains hope may also be a character strength, a critical component of motivation, a mechanism by which we cope with difficult experiences, or any combination of these. The APA defines hope as, “the expectation that one will have positive experiences or that a potentially threatening or negative situation will not materialize or will ultimately result in a favorable state of affairs.” If you can relate to any part of this definition, then you know first-hand what it feels like to be propped-up by hope.
Many people desire to live rich and fulfilling lives. That is not the same as an expectation to experience happiness at all times; in life, some pain is inevitable. In those moments, consider these strategies to get propped-up by hope.
Pause and acknowledge all parts of your experience. Sometimes we focus only on the things we wish were different, and our mood suffers. Other times we force our attention toward anything positive, and we end up feeling inauthentic or invalidated. Having a more balanced observation of all that we face helps us recognize that there can be joy even in difficult times, peace during chaos or hope alongside disappointment.
Identify your skills, talents and resources, and use those to overcome adversity. When we are focused on our strengths, we have greater confidence in our ability to achieve our goals. We maximize our internal resources and more effectively work toward our desired outcome.
“What has helped me through difficult times in the past?”
“What am I good at and how can that help here?”
Practice affirmations. An affirmation is a supportive statement that validates or encourages. To get the most from your affirmation, make your statement out loud several times in a row. Practice your affirmation several times throughout the day. Repeat this process several days in a row.
“There is good in my life now and there will be good in my life into the future.”
“I have persevered in the past, I will make it through this too.”
“I am a strong and resilient person.”
“Even though…, I will/I am…”
Focus on the things you can control. Such as yourself in the present moment. Other people, other times in our life, that is all out of our control. Focusing on things we cannot control increases our sense of hopelessness and puts us in a position of disempowerment. Hopelessness resulting from unhelpful thoughts about things that we cannot control is a common experience that accompanies depression and anxiety. One possible antidote is to practice acceptance for the things you cannot control and take action on your thoughts, feelings, and behavior in the present moment. When we do this, we are more empowered to influence our circumstances.
Envision your future. When we can connect to something good, bright, or exciting in our future, that sparks hope.
“What are my goals?”
“What are my dreams?”
“What are my sources of inspiration?”
Identify current sources of hope. Sometimes there is a specific source of hopelessness and it can feel consuming. Take a moment to pan-away from that and identify sources of hope. If nothing comes to mind, ask others what they feel hopeful about. Sometimes we are blinded by our difficult emotion or experience and a fresh perspective can open our eyes to new possibilities.
Please know that certain strategies might not be a good fit for all circumstances, and authenticity matters! If you try one of these strategies and it does not resonate, move on to something else. Any of these strategies practiced at the right time could further develop your resilience for the future and promote greater hope for today.
@wonderwellwi
Hope. (n.d.). Retrieved January 30, 2021, from https://dictionary.apa.org/hope